In a recent post on X.com, Nikhil Kamath, co-founder of Zerodha, stirred debate with his remark about parenthood, saying it would ‘ruin 18-20 years of my life.‘ The original poster responded with a sharp question: What if his parents also had the same views?
I’ve been a parent for 18 years, and it’s far from easy—it’s a journey with many faces. Some days, I fall short of being the parent I strive to be. Other days, I feel like I’ve got it all figured out, only for things to fall apart. But then, there are those moments when everything feels truly worth it. Parenting is an emotional rollercoaster, but the rewards far outweigh the challenges.
1. Parenting is a personal choice, but your legacy continues through the lives of your children.
As one commenter noted, parenting is indeed a personal choice. Would Mother Teresa have been the same if she had biological children? It’s a valid question. However, her calling was to serve, and in doing so, she embraced many children who had been orphaned by their biological parents. In that regard, her legacy lives on through the countless lives she touched. While I may not serve in the same way as Mother Teresa, I believe my calling is reflected in my family and the lives of my children.
The time my wife and I have invested in our children’s lives may have altered our career paths, but it is deeply fulfilling to know that whatever they pursue in the future, they will understand the value of investing in the lives of others, guided by God’s plan.
2. Parenting! Can anyone?
When I think about parenting, I’m reminded of Gusteau’s words: “Anyone can cook.”
There are times I remember our backs hit against the wall—like the time our son cried out that he couldn’t breathe, or when our daughter fainted from a seizure, or the moment we were blindsided by the diagnosis of osteomyelitis for our two-and-a-half-year-old. Well, “Anyone can cook”—yes, its truly an inspiring idea, anyone can rise to the occasion. But parenting? That takes courage.
My journey as a parent has been one of moving mountains, breaking through walls, and smoothing out rocky paths—only to find the road getting rockier again. Any parent reading this can probably relate. “I’m scared to sleep alone, Mommy.” “I got hit on the nose.” “I don’t want to do this.” the constant whining of “why’s” to of course, the teenage wail: “I think you’re not able to understand what I’m saying!” These all call for an immediate and thoughtful response.
While bravery does play a part, I’ve realized that courage isn’t something that just happens. It’s a deliberate choice, made moment by moment.
Courage doesn’t flow naturally from within, like an underground spring we can tap into effortlessly. Instead, it’s what we muster when life throws us curveballs—those moments when all our careful plans crumble, and we find ourselves facing a miss instead of a hit.
3. When Courage Needs a Push
That’s when courage becomes a choice.
We live in a city where all pharmacies and local clinics enjoy a Sunday break. So, the joke in our family is, “Don’t fall sick on a Sunday. Any day but Sunday.” However, we’ve often unknowingly fallen prey to this sabbath day. One winter evening, our daughter walks out of the bathroom, hands in the air, saying, “My fingernails have turned blue.” We did everything we could to warm her up, but we knew that God had to step in for us to fight this.
For me, these moments have often led me back to God—sometimes willingly, sometimes reluctantly, to be honest. But every time, I’ve had to acknowledge that His wisdom surpasses my own stubborn, overthinking brain. Over and over, I’ve learned to lean into His strength when my own falls short.
Parenting may not come with a manual, but it certainly comes with opportunities—opportunities to choose courage, to grow, and to trust in something greater than ourselves. And that, perhaps, is where the real bravery lies.
4. The treasures!
Over the past 18 years, I’ve answered enough questions to rival a game show host. But here’s the twist: for every question I answered, there was another that taught me something new. Strangely enough, I find myself thankful for those endless questions. It’s funny how the “why is the sky blue?” phase eventually morphs into questions that make you pause and rethink everything you thought you knew. Who knew parenting came with its own curriculum?
Then, there’s this undeniable joy in being known as “your kid’s” mom or dad— it’s like wearing a badge of honour that sparkles brighter than any award. And then there are those magical moments that catch you off guard, like when they figure out a tough problem without your help. Parenting has its share of tender moments that catch you off guard and linger in your heart, particularly on an exhausting day, when you are approached with utmost sincerity and asked, “Mommy, can I press your leg?” Those moments of imperfect grace remind you of what love simply is.
Ultimately, parenting is about more than just survival (though, let’s admit, that’s part of it). It isn’t about rushing toward a destination or measuring success by milestones. It’s about raising someone who will carve their own space in the world, contribute in their own unique way and be that light placed high to shine brightly for many. Watching them grow into that role, step by step, is perhaps the most fulfilling reward of all.
As Jordan Peterson aptly responded on X.com
“Kids make your life more meaningful than any mere happiness. Kids bring love and heartaches of love into your life. That’s not the idiot short-term ‘happiness’ worshipped by hedonists and measured as an outcome by the unwise.”
Indeed, what makes it all worthwhile are the laughter shared on the hardest days, the lessons tucked into the simplest moments. As parents, we are not mere bystanders, but co-authors of this incredible story. And in the end, it is this shared journey, with all its challenges and triumphs, that becomes the greatest reward of all—a journey that continues to shape us just as much as it shapes them.
